Meditations on my work

Today, I had a conversation with Thinh about the meaning of research. This led to a 1-hour conversation about God XD which I am thankful for, that although I am a broken vessel, God is still willing to use me for His purposes and His glory.

But this is not the main point of today's meditation. The main point is: am I really doing my current work out of piety and passion to glorify God?
There are a few areas of consideration. First of all, is my current "big research direction" an expression of either managing the earth's resources or bringing good (as defined by God's standards) to mankind?
In some sense, quantum information is the research into manipulating information, which is kinda important for the digital age. I suppose quantum cryptography offers better security to the world as well. Also, I am able to become a witness in the workplace for God, just like today, which is nowadays scarce.
But neither of these reasons hit at my first love and passion for physics: to know the workings of nature better, to comprehend physical laws, and to showcase God's design/intelligence/creativity in a way that human beings will be able to see and appreciate.

On the other hand, am I showing the true integrity and excellence a Christian should demonstrate in the workplace? Maybe. But probably not enough. I could, and should have done better.

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3/10/2016
今天查经的时候，聊到关于自己在工作上是不是会依靠神？
跟大家分享的时候谈到了自己写论文的经验。不管是本科做毕设的时候，还是现在，写论文的期间，我在早上总会祈祷：神，今天，求你亲自和我一起写。若是没有祢，单靠我自己，哪怕是一句话我都写不好的。我只能依靠你。
所以，在我毕业论文的Acknowledgements里面，第一句永远都是感谢神，荣耀归于祂。

大家都蛮惊讶的。天牧问我为什么会这样做。
我想，我一直都认为自己不配学物理吧。我不够聪明，数学不够好，不如那些很厉害的物理学家。但是，在学物理的时候我总有一份无法形容的喜悦，那种快乐可以让我完全忘记自己的不足，只是单纯地赞叹物理的美。
而我也那么那么幸运；从读本科的奖学金、毕业时领的奖、博士的工作和世人赞许的目光……其实这一些我都不配得。有许多的人（比如跟我同届的物理系的同学们）比我聪明，也有许多人（像谢仲宇）比我努力执着上百倍，但是比起他们，我一直是“一帆风顺”。在物理的路上，我知道我是靠着神的恩典。我也知道学物理时感受的那份喜悦是神给的。如果没有祂这份赐予，人生将多么无趣。因为有物理，日子变得精彩，人生中也有了正面的激情。我虽然没有美貌，没有财富，没有人缘……但我愿意一生平凡地过，只要能每天睹见物理、真理的美好，我心满意足。
因此，我经常对祂说，不管在物理这条路上我走得多远，靠的都不是自己的实力，而是祢的带领。既然如此，祢把我带到哪里，祢就得负责 XD 听起来好像很耍赖，但感受确实是如此。